Out of the Spin Cycle: Devotions to Lighten Your Mother Load

內容簡介

Prologue: A (fairly lame) ode to mothers -- I'm perfect and my kids never fight -- My kids are headed to therapy -- An extra load (of baloney) -- Thrice holy -- Chick-Fil-A, group baths, and other survival techniques -- Nacho average bunny -- Goodness gracious -- Little hidden surprises -- Greatness, credit, and other myths of motherhood -- Today is tomorrow's yesterday -- No-suri -- Seven times a day (of course I'm not talking about sex) -- Jesus the magic genie -- The cannibalization of me -- First century camping -- A half-filled bag of Doritos -- Tequila sunrise -- My empty nest syndrome -- The Santa debacle -- Skorts: it's a skirt that acts like shorts! -- Egg salad sandwich disorder and road rage -- My missing inner saint -- Garbage for Christmas -- SAHM (Sleepy Anxious Hysterical Mama) -- Baby Couture (roll eyes here) -- Mama on a mission -- Vivienne -- Our little sweatshop -- Upper percentage of the average rank -- Working girls -- Those are the prunes -- Dogs and discipleship -- Professional worrier -- I'm bringing sexy back -- Mother of the year award -- No loving in first grade -- Do what the voices say -- No hands, no Jesus -- Lame lineage -- Belovedness.